Post by AJA on Dec 29, 2005 0:51:38 GMT -5
Hello 
. I'm new to the forum. I was directed here from another forum where I began posting this, so here I am. Currently I am working on a script-based fan series that at the moment is called "Stargate Frontier", though that is subject to change. In a nutshell, SGC has discovered another city of the ancients after finding another Data Repository and downloading the information from it. This city is located within the Sagittarius Galaxy, a dwarf eliptical galaxy roughly 10,000 light years in diameter and orbiting the Milky Way approximately 70,000 light years from Earth. I have a lot of basic info about some of the planets and cultures in this galaxy, as well as a general idea of what I'd like to do with the pilot and the Teaser. So here that is, and I think that should be all for now :
STARGATE
FRONTIER
Pilot Episode (Unnamed)
By Andrew Aultman
TEASER
EXT. PRACLARUSH TAONAS
THREE MILLION YEARS AGO
A four-armed city of the Ancients sits in a peaceful windswept valley between three towering snow capped mountains. Suddenly, there is a soft RUMBLE and the city slowly begins to rise. As it lift free of the ground a tiny outpost, similar to the one under the Antarctic ice on Earth, becomes visible. The city rises higher and higher until, with a great ROAR of power, its primary engines ignite and it escapes into space.
EXT. M9S-R17
PRESENT DAY
An Ancient data repository sits atop a grassy knoll beneath a blood red sun. A complement of N.D. marines form a loose perimeter around the building.
INT. ANCIENT DATA REPOSITORY
Two people, DR.MICHAEL STROM and MAJOR RILEY SANDERS stand arguing beside the interface device. A semicircle of mobile computer stations surrounds them and two additional N.D. marines guard them.
STROM
Look, I don’t even know if this is gonna work. For all I know the computers might blow the second I plug them in. Now if I could run a few more tests…
SANDERS
(Exasperated) No. We’ve already covered this with Dr. Bryson. Twice. Now hook the computers up and start downloading.
STROM
Yes, but…
SANDERS
No “buts”.
STROM
But…
He quiets at the look Sanders gives him, exhales the end of his sentence, and crouches down. He plugs several Ancient looking cables into hidden receptacles below the interface device. Then Strom stands and types a command into the computer nearest to him. Streams of data instantly begin to race across the screens of all four computers, most of it faster than the human eye can track. Sanders watches detachedly for a while, then frowns.
SANDERS
What was that?
STROM
What?
SANDERS
That schematic that popped up on screen just a minute ago. It…it looked like a city.
Strom frowns.
STROM
What do you mean?
SANDERS
I mean it looked like Atlantis.
STROM
Oh. (He pauses) Well then it probably was Atlantis.
SANDERS
But what if it wasn’t?
STROM
(Confused) What do you mean “but what if it wasn’t”? Atlantis is the only ancient city we know of.
SANDERS
Exactly.
STROM
What?
Sanders pauses for a moment, deep in thought. Strom continues to stand there beside the first computer station, looking confused.
SANDERS
Bring it back up.
STROM
What!?
Sanders gives Strom a pitying look.
SANDERS
You know, for a smart person, you’re really kinda stupid.
Strom draws himself up and tries to give a witty retort but is again cut off by Sanders.
SANDERS
Now, bring that schematic back up.
His previous indignation temporarily forgotten, Strom gives Sanders a harassed look.
STROM
(Aghast) You want me to search through all of that data, which is getting more and more compounded every second, just to find a schematic that you think isn’t Atlantis but probably is?
SANDERS
Yep.
Strom begins to protest, but is yet again cut off by Sanders.
SANDERS
That’s an order
Strom glowers at Sanders and grumbles something about how he doesn’t have to follow orders given by military personnel since he’s a civilian, but again shuts up at the look Sanders gives him. Several minutes and several furious glances later, Strom displays the schematic on a secondary computer screen. But Strom’s earlier anger is all but forgotten as he and Sanders stare openmouthed at the slowly rotating image on screen.
STROM
That isn’t Atlantis.
His voice is quiet, hoarse, and full of shock. Sanders, on the other hand, manages a considerably smug tone of voice in his response.
SANDERS
Told ya so.
FADE OUT
END OF TEASER
C&C greatly appreciated. This is still a WIP, but the Teaser is finalized, and I have a general idea of how I want to finish the Teaser, but that's all for now.
. I'm new to the forum. I was directed here from another forum where I began posting this, so here I am. Currently I am working on a script-based fan series that at the moment is called "Stargate Frontier", though that is subject to change. In a nutshell, SGC has discovered another city of the ancients after finding another Data Repository and downloading the information from it. This city is located within the Sagittarius Galaxy, a dwarf eliptical galaxy roughly 10,000 light years in diameter and orbiting the Milky Way approximately 70,000 light years from Earth. I have a lot of basic info about some of the planets and cultures in this galaxy, as well as a general idea of what I'd like to do with the pilot and the Teaser. So here that is, and I think that should be all for now :STARGATE
FRONTIER
Pilot Episode (Unnamed)
By Andrew Aultman
TEASER
EXT. PRACLARUSH TAONAS
THREE MILLION YEARS AGO
A four-armed city of the Ancients sits in a peaceful windswept valley between three towering snow capped mountains. Suddenly, there is a soft RUMBLE and the city slowly begins to rise. As it lift free of the ground a tiny outpost, similar to the one under the Antarctic ice on Earth, becomes visible. The city rises higher and higher until, with a great ROAR of power, its primary engines ignite and it escapes into space.
EXT. M9S-R17
PRESENT DAY
An Ancient data repository sits atop a grassy knoll beneath a blood red sun. A complement of N.D. marines form a loose perimeter around the building.
INT. ANCIENT DATA REPOSITORY
Two people, DR.MICHAEL STROM and MAJOR RILEY SANDERS stand arguing beside the interface device. A semicircle of mobile computer stations surrounds them and two additional N.D. marines guard them.
STROM
Look, I don’t even know if this is gonna work. For all I know the computers might blow the second I plug them in. Now if I could run a few more tests…
SANDERS
(Exasperated) No. We’ve already covered this with Dr. Bryson. Twice. Now hook the computers up and start downloading.
STROM
Yes, but…
SANDERS
No “buts”.
STROM
But…
He quiets at the look Sanders gives him, exhales the end of his sentence, and crouches down. He plugs several Ancient looking cables into hidden receptacles below the interface device. Then Strom stands and types a command into the computer nearest to him. Streams of data instantly begin to race across the screens of all four computers, most of it faster than the human eye can track. Sanders watches detachedly for a while, then frowns.
SANDERS
What was that?
STROM
What?
SANDERS
That schematic that popped up on screen just a minute ago. It…it looked like a city.
Strom frowns.
STROM
What do you mean?
SANDERS
I mean it looked like Atlantis.
STROM
Oh. (He pauses) Well then it probably was Atlantis.
SANDERS
But what if it wasn’t?
STROM
(Confused) What do you mean “but what if it wasn’t”? Atlantis is the only ancient city we know of.
SANDERS
Exactly.
STROM
What?
Sanders pauses for a moment, deep in thought. Strom continues to stand there beside the first computer station, looking confused.
SANDERS
Bring it back up.
STROM
What!?
Sanders gives Strom a pitying look.
SANDERS
You know, for a smart person, you’re really kinda stupid.
Strom draws himself up and tries to give a witty retort but is again cut off by Sanders.
SANDERS
Now, bring that schematic back up.
His previous indignation temporarily forgotten, Strom gives Sanders a harassed look.
STROM
(Aghast) You want me to search through all of that data, which is getting more and more compounded every second, just to find a schematic that you think isn’t Atlantis but probably is?
SANDERS
Yep.
Strom begins to protest, but is yet again cut off by Sanders.
SANDERS
That’s an order
Strom glowers at Sanders and grumbles something about how he doesn’t have to follow orders given by military personnel since he’s a civilian, but again shuts up at the look Sanders gives him. Several minutes and several furious glances later, Strom displays the schematic on a secondary computer screen. But Strom’s earlier anger is all but forgotten as he and Sanders stare openmouthed at the slowly rotating image on screen.
STROM
That isn’t Atlantis.
His voice is quiet, hoarse, and full of shock. Sanders, on the other hand, manages a considerably smug tone of voice in his response.
SANDERS
Told ya so.
FADE OUT
END OF TEASER
C&C greatly appreciated. This is still a WIP, but the Teaser is finalized, and I have a general idea of how I want to finish the Teaser, but that's all for now
.
. Right now I'm starting to work on act one. Just curious, what would be a good way to describe an establishing view of SGC without being too blunt? I suppose I could go ahead and post the character names, just for the main ones. They are:
. I'd like to get around to reading it, though I have read both the primers. Tinny update, I'm considering droping Col. Christiansen. Also, since I'm haveing some trouble with the first part of Scene One, I'm going to skip ahead to the part where they leave for now and go from there.
