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Post by thepope on Mar 9, 2006 19:25:23 GMT -5
DAWN PART 1
Release date: April 8th
(Poll will come into play on April 8th)
During the testing of Earths newest BC-304, a new team lead by SG:1s Daniel Jackson discover a ship orbiting Earth. As the team begin to investigate, Dr Lee finds out that the ship is hiding something!
- We shall see the shutting down of the SGC and the opening of a brand new base based in Antarctica - some very cool stuff shall be seen, O'Neill lovers will be pleased!
- will also get to see Earths newest BC-304 and the testing of a brand new weapon with some links with the past.
- The Asgard make an appearence aswell, i wont say which ones but we do get to see some new faces.
- Some really cool characters, they all interact so well, Lester and Kate just crack me up all the time.
- The International Commitie also stick there noses in here and there.
- If it wasnt bad enough already Earth gets a possible visit from one of the big bads!
- Dawn Part 1 and 2 will be released seperatly, Part 2 being the longer one.
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Post by Captain Pash on Mar 10, 2006 15:41:17 GMT -5
!0th....
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Post by immhotep on Apr 10, 2006 12:58:44 GMT -5
ok Release is over! please discuss this episode and vote on the poll and any of the forums we inhabit.
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Post by PtahTheCreationGod on Apr 10, 2006 14:41:24 GMT -5
Okay then, lets see. You got the characters down brilliantly, Jack, Daniel, Sam and Landry, brilliant! Interactions where pretty perfect (best Daniel/Jack scenes I have read for a long time) the descriptions wher great, I really got the feel for what was going on. New characters, Katy was good, very lively so yay for reading more on her, and Lester reminded me of that guy from Zero Hour, nice guy, I can definately see why you cast Alexis for him, kinda has a Buffy S3 Wesley feel to him. Oh, and the forcefield thing, perfect Jack moment My only real compalaint is the overuse of exclamation marks, they just cropped up any old place totally uneeded. Other than that and the odd typo and formatting error (Character -> Speech -> Action -> "Character (CONT'D)" -> Speech) it was fantastic. I cant see what problems people had with it, yes it was slow but you have to work into the story. Awesome cliffhanger ending BTW. Oh, just as a final note, gave you top marks on this poll and the one on the site, keep it up guys  |
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Post by cmdrrhea on Apr 10, 2006 17:06:23 GMT -5
I have to say, overall good job.
I liked the interaction between characters very much.(I Agree, the jack /daniel scenes were good)
it was very detailed and i liked that, but in certain areas it over shadowed some of the conversations and statemnts by the characters., it is also slow moving but i some episodes just are! So far i am only up to act 4, but i do like it!
(Mine setup is odd also, much more than yours though!)
keep up the god work!
George, Stargate Nexus
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NoDot
Jaffa Guard
E.P. of SV-30 and SGFut (if they come out)
Posts: 197
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Post by NoDot on Apr 10, 2006 19:38:00 GMT -5
OK, I'm going to flat out state my main problem: too much chatter about the camera! The camera should almost never be mentioned in script, and even then only with good reason. Ptah already noted the other main flaws, so I'll end on this... For the first episode, this was very good. I look forward to the massive improvement you'll be making. |
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Post by PtahTheCreationGod on Apr 11, 2006 9:51:37 GMT -5
^Although if you are trying to paint a picture of what would be "on-screen" you have the choice of "the camera" or "we see"
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NoDot
Jaffa Guard
E.P. of SV-30 and SGFut (if they come out)
Posts: 197
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Post by NoDot on Apr 11, 2006 14:22:45 GMT -5
Just don't mention the camera! If you need to convey the existance of something, then say "There is..."/"There are..." instead of the camera.
And one more thing: don't pan so much!
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Post by Valórin on Apr 12, 2006 2:43:23 GMT -5
I enjoyed it, although, it felt a bit like a SG-1 episode which was pointing to a new series, rather then a new series itself. But ignoring that, it was pretty good.
About the camera thing, I know from experience writing my first script (which I am still workign on, slowly) that its a very easy trap to fall into.
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Post by Wineblood on Apr 12, 2006 6:07:48 GMT -5
It's hard to give an overall opinion of this ep. The story is really good, I like the way it leads up to the testing and the cliffhanger was awesome. But on the other hand, there were some annoying mistakes : basic words badly misspelled, too much "laughing" at the beginning, formatting was a bit off.
I'm sure you'll get this fixed soon.
Keep it up !!
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Post by Captain Pash on Apr 12, 2006 7:38:51 GMT -5
Well, formatting all depeneds on what you use as a base. We use a templete that the BBC endorses. So, it is just not exactly like the others.
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Post by Geoff on Apr 12, 2006 22:53:24 GMT -5
Okay, started reading... the teaser was good, made you want to read more. But, as soon as I got to act one, things were just not right. - Landry and Jackson's characters were just wrong and there was too much laughing. - The exclamation points got annoying fast, and they continued. - I imagined that everyone was smiling throughout the entire episode. - And the excess laughing also continued. - I agree with Valorin that it sounds like an SG-1 ep leading to another series. - O'Neill........ I'm very sorry to say this, but it's the worst depiction of him I've ever seen. Just about every Jack stereotype is used in the episode, when it's not even supposed to be centric on him. - Okay, so the character interaction got much better in the fifth act. And the O'Neill stuff, it got much better in fifth act. - I can't say that the cliffhangar was the most suspenseful, in fact, it seemed more like the end of an act within an episode, but it does make me want to read part two. I am interested, though, in seeing what this cloaked ship is..... - And the weapon itself - I've long dreamed of seeing Tollan weapons used again in some way... well, now I can say that I have I'm sorry if I've made a lot of people mad at me, but I should've waited until I finished the episode completely to vote on the poll. Let the record show that I switch my vote to "Good" lol. I really want all the regular VS's to be great, and that's only why I'm being this critical. There's room for improvement, and I will be tuning in next monday for the next installment. If things continue to get better like they did in act five, then it should be great by the end of Part 2, right? |
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Post by Pash on Apr 13, 2006 11:53:35 GMT -5
I think most people are still under the impression that SG:G is going to be happening in the same time frame as SG-1, and so on. It isn't the begining of the pilot maybe, but the rest isn't.
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Post by thepope on Apr 13, 2006 14:36:36 GMT -5
Well 1st off i wish you could have waited until you finished the episode before voting, just a bit careless.. but i'm glad you liked it in the end. There are also several posts explaining why there are so many of these : "!", SG:U was sent the wrong copy.
I'm glad you noticed that it looks like an SG:1 episode leading to a new series, because thats what it's meant to be, not a straight into a new series like Atlantis, Destiny and Horizon.
The Jack bits im not to worried about, some think it was great, some might not but he's not evena a regular so thats fine, when i read it i carnt help but laugh:)
I liked the tolan bits:D And have also longed to see them in an episode, so i think the way i did it was rather cool.
As for the cliffhanger.....how could you not like it, a mysterious alien ship in Earth orbit at the height of the war with the Ori!!! it's gold:)
Dont worry Genesis is worthy of greatness, stay tuned and you'll see:D
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Post by cmdrrhea on Apr 15, 2006 19:14:24 GMT -5
I do have one question, wasnt the Daniel Jackson destroyed in Gemeni?
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