Post by NoDot on Apr 20, 2006 14:25:04 GMT -5
Well, it seems that you've put some effort into making it more legible, but there's still an issue of punctuation in the spoken text.
I'm going to try and correct this so you have an example of what the script should look like.
[edit] OK, I tried to edit the document and offer some corrections. feel free to let me know if I messed up somewhere in the formatting: geopreview.pdf.
Just some comments after trying to edit it, though. Firstly, I noted a rather big lack of description in the script. This isn't something that'll be shown on TV, so emotion needs to be clarified, somewhat. You also need to describe what the locations look like; the planet especially needed to have some sort of description on it. As to the Gateroom, you should've at the least told us who was there and what they were doing.
Secondly, you'll notice I reformatted your spoken segments. One thing I noted in that was that you seemed to have them speaking in proper English (i.e. they're not using makeshift contractions) a lot*. I'm going to go out on a limb and take a guess that you're not a native English speaker. If I'm right, then get someone to help you! People don't speak in proper English unless they're not native speakers and speak English poorly.
*Yes, "a lot" is two words. You'd definitely remember it if you have an English teacher who promised to deduct 10% non-cumulitively for every time you used it as one word. Just FYI.
I'm going to try and correct this so you have an example of what the script should look like.
[edit] OK, I tried to edit the document and offer some corrections. feel free to let me know if I messed up somewhere in the formatting: geopreview.pdf.
Just some comments after trying to edit it, though. Firstly, I noted a rather big lack of description in the script. This isn't something that'll be shown on TV, so emotion needs to be clarified, somewhat. You also need to describe what the locations look like; the planet especially needed to have some sort of description on it. As to the Gateroom, you should've at the least told us who was there and what they were doing.
Secondly, you'll notice I reformatted your spoken segments. One thing I noted in that was that you seemed to have them speaking in proper English (i.e. they're not using makeshift contractions) a lot*. I'm going to go out on a limb and take a guess that you're not a native English speaker. If I'm right, then get someone to help you! People don't speak in proper English unless they're not native speakers and speak English poorly.
*Yes, "a lot" is two words. You'd definitely remember it if you have an English teacher who promised to deduct 10% non-cumulitively for every time you used it as one word. Just FYI.