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Post by falconx on Apr 16, 2006 5:51:05 GMT -5
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NoDot
Jaffa Guard
E.P. of SV-30 and SGFut (if they come out)
Posts: 197
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Post by NoDot on Apr 16, 2006 8:32:27 GMT -5
Dispite what you may think, you do have to use punctuation in the text that is spoken. I would've had a mess of trouble understanding the speaking if I didn't have the ability to read text without punctuation.
Other than that, I think it was reasonable, though spoken material should be indented on both side margins.
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Post by PtahTheCreationGod on Apr 16, 2006 8:57:49 GMT -5
Formatting and punctuation need work. And how do we know whats going on, theres next to no description. Sorry but, well thats my opinion on it.
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Post by Elite Anubis Guard on Apr 16, 2006 13:22:42 GMT -5
Pretty much been said. Needs work on the format.
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Post by falconx on Apr 17, 2006 1:17:03 GMT -5
Formatting and punctuation need work. And how do we know whats going on, theres next to no description. Sorry but, well thats my opinion on it. The reason there is no Description in this part of the episode is that 95% of people reading it would know what Atlantis Gate Room does look like. an d the others just have to watch one episode of SGA to know aswell i just didn't think it was nessesery in this section. But if you would like it added i will just post majority Rules so if i get 51% of People wanting it in this section i will add it. |
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Post by Valórin on Apr 17, 2006 1:29:02 GMT -5
Without trying to sound too harsh, that is really really hard to read. Get rid of the center align for speach, just give it an intent. Its a lot easier to read text which starts on a line then is staggered. Also, the names and the speach is in the same style, making it hard to tell apart (also due to the centering issue).
Simply, yes, the formatting is making it hard to read and most people would open it, try to read the first page and give up in disgust.
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Post by Elite Anubis Guard on Apr 17, 2006 3:05:37 GMT -5
Yeah. Im picky so I wont touch a script unless it has proper formatting.
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Post by PtahTheCreationGod on Apr 17, 2006 5:39:41 GMT -5
Formatting and punctuation need work. And how do we know whats going on, theres next to no description. Sorry but, well thats my opinion on it. The reason there is no Description in this part of the episode is that 95% of people reading it would know what Atlantis Gate Room does look like. an d the others just have to watch one episode of SGA to know aswell i just didn't think it was nessesery in this section. But if you would like it added i will just post majority Rules so if i get 51% of People wanting it in this section i will add it. Still should have descriptions of what you can see and most importantly what the characters are doing, if you dont then all we can see is the gateroom with a couple of people standing around, not moving just talking to eachother. And Im with EAG, no correct formatting, I dont read it |
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Post by falconx on Apr 18, 2006 21:06:04 GMT -5
I have been Changing all my scripts over to a more professional format i thought they looked ok before but i want to create an enjoyable one not one that nobody reads i am going to add more details into that part of the Script and will have a Professional Looking Scripted Preview out Shortly probably in the next day.
Falcon X
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Post by falconx on Apr 18, 2006 21:08:26 GMT -5
Dispite what you may think, you do have to use punctuation in the text that is spoken. I would've had a mess of trouble understanding the speaking if I didn't have the ability to read text without punctuation. Other than that, I think it was reasonable, though spoken material should be indented on both side margins. I Have that same ability thats why i didn't relise so much of it wasn't punctuated Enough However this will not Effect our Release date Too Much if not at All. |
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NoDot
Jaffa Guard
E.P. of SV-30 and SGFut (if they come out)
Posts: 197
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Post by NoDot on Apr 18, 2006 21:45:52 GMT -5
I'm frankly not to happy that I've developed the ability, so I find the text repulsive still. You really need to run a grammer check on the document to add the punctuation. That, or learn how to punctuate English. (I personally tend to over-comma-ize my writing, though, but that's me.) You also need to work on your capitalization.
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Post by Wineblood on Apr 19, 2006 4:44:49 GMT -5
I agree with NoDot. Punctuation also makes a lot of difference.
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Post by Geoff on Apr 19, 2006 10:16:20 GMT -5
Yeah, all that I could've said as well. Also, the characters (yes, I know it's just a preview) seem to just be spouting military commands left and right in most places, and its a little lifeless. Now, like I said, I know its a preview, so I'm not worried in that regard. And you really need to look through to make sure you have enough commas, question marks and propper spellings. I saw a bunch of uses of "Dr." in the script, so I felt that it was about time for me to get something off my chest that has bothered me since I began scriptwriting: One thing that really bugs me is when people use non-acronym abbreviations (like Mr., Dr., Sgt., etc) in dialogue. I learned a long time ago that dialogue is exactly what people are saying, and I take it very literally. That being said, I would imagine a character saying "Merrr" if the word Mr. (especially if there was no period) appeared in the dialogue, instead of "Mister". Now, I know what it's supposed to say, so its not like I actually say "Merrrr" to myself, but I'm just saying, it really bugs me. Usually, the same also goes for numbers for me. I try as little possible to write actualy numerals in the dialogue, unless its just an insanely weird number like 89,012,456, which would be eight-nine million, twelve thousand, four-hundred fifty six in the text (really boring to write). ell-oh-ell, that probably sounded really pathetic, but it's how I feel about it. What do you think? P.S. Whenever I try and tell someone what I think, it always comes out sounding like I hate it. That's not true. I'll be reading the full pilot when it comes out  |
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Post by falconx on Apr 19, 2006 20:12:56 GMT -5
I have added all the things that have been asked to the first 2 episodes of my series and redone the same part of the preview but its a .doc file now cjb.net/stargate-geothues/geopreview.docThis link doesn't always work for me so i will make an upload a .pdf when i have time |
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Post by Valórin on Apr 19, 2006 22:32:45 GMT -5
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